Wednesday, March 25, 2009

My beautiful boy, Sam!

Many of you have been following my story of Sam on Facebook, but others are requesting that the story be told. I will do my best to give as many details as I can, but life has been so busy that a lot of the details may slip through the cracks. Feel free to ask questions and I will fill you in.

On June 26, 1986, at the age of 18, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I was not in the position to raise such a precious gift, so I gave him up for adoption. It was the hardest day of my entire life. I struggled to find peace in my heart to know what would be best for him. The decision was made that a family friend would place him in a loving and secure home, to be adored and loved as I loved him. I gave the adopting family a letter, details about my life, and a St. Christopher medal to be passed on to him when he was 16.

The family named him Sam.

When he turned 16, Sam’s dad gave him the information I provided, then became ill. Sam spent the next few years watching out for his dad and helping to take care of him during this trying time. His dad recuperated, and Sam decided to continue the search.

Sam found phone numbers for me and Mike (his birth father), but wasn't comfortable calling our homes. Instead he reached out by searching MySpace, where he found Mike. Sam and Mike tried to contact me, but I was traveling. I returned home to an e-mail from Mike and a couple messages from Sam. The first contact was a friend request on Facebook, but I didn't recognize the name/picture. I almost deleted it, but instead ignored it and continued to answer e-mails. I then came across another e-mail from Sam saying "Subject: hey mom “its me your long lost son... lol... i've missed you we have a lot to catch up on...."! Well, I was totally in shock. I responded with "Confused?! Need more information!" Then about an hour later it hit me. OMG, it's him. In the meantime I was able to speak with Mike. They had been corresponding for a few days and he told me all about Sam. After hanging up, I called him immediately.
His voice was like hearing angels sing. It warmed my heart and left me feeling an immediate urge to see him, touch him, know him -- it had been 22 years of longing and wait. It was very overwhelming and hard to believe that it was real -- that it was actually finally happening. I never really let myself believe that he would search for us. (I think it was a defense mechanism.) When I would tell the story of the decision to place him, my heart would ache with a constant urge to find him.

So, I would place all my faith in God, that he was fine and happy.

When I placed him, it was a private adoption, so I had no contact information. If I had the info, I would have never acted on it. I never wanted to alter his life, especially if he wasn't ready, so I just decided to try and live each day praying that my boy was happy and safe!

On March 10, I spoke with my son. He was warm, sweet, and caring. He filled me up. He was more than I had ever dreamed he could be. I wanted to try and go to Chicago at the end of March to see him. (As most of you know I am so very That lasted about a day. I decided that I just couldn’t wait. I sent him a buddy pass, so that he could come meet his “new” family. Alot of you have asked me if my family knew about Sam. Sam was never a secret. I have always believed that honesty is best and wanted my family and friends to know about him. I also hoped that my story could help another deal with the very emotional decision to place a child. I was very open with anyone who inquired.

I met Sam on March 15. My husband captured it on video, and I will be forever grateful!!! The connection was instantaneous. We were locked! It still amazes me, the bond that is created at birth. I couldn’t stop touching him and looking at him. Wow…. I was speechless...And as you all know, speechless very out-of-character for me!!!!!

(See the video Lori Meets Sam from Sean Rourke on Vimeo.)

Sam spent the next 10 days getting to know us. He and his brothers hit it off immediately. They have many of the same interests. Music is a huge part of my family and Sam was blessed with that musical talent. He loves to play, sing, and create music. He is truly amazing. While here he looked into the Conservatory of Recording Arts and Sciences. He was smitten and has decided that he will attend the next term. My boy is coming home. He will be living in AZ, finally…..

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I’m sure all of this will take some adjusting, but I have complete faith that he is where he needs to be. I think we can help him achieve his dreams and find his place in the world. We are hoping to be a very influential part of his life. He is HOME…….

P.S. Check out Facebook for more pictures and information.


Rachelle @ "Mommy? I'm Hungry!" said...

What a wonderful story! How nice that you got to meet your son again. Sounds like you'll have lots of happy moments to come. :)

Lindsay said...

This post made my day! I'm so happy for you and your family! I would not have been able to wait either if I were in your shoes.

Sarah said...

Thanks Lori! It is a great story, as I knew it would be.

Mel said...

Thanks for the wonderful and exciting update Lori! I am so happy for you and your entire family - God is so good! Miss you and praying for ya'll :-)

gingerbread grandma said...

What a thrill for you and your family! When Sarah told me to check out your blog, all I could say is "WOW!" I am so happy for you.

Mrs Furious said...

Wow Lori that is amazing. I cried through the whole video!
I am very happy for you!

Norma said...

I wanted to thank you and Sam again for coming to our birthmother group on Wednesday. Your story is beautiful and amazing. Thank you again!

Roni said...

oh.. my... tears flowing down my face....

I am so happy for you! So happy!!